And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
