69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Be still, my beating vagina.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
