My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
