Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
