At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I need a burrito and a hug.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
