his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
