OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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