I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
