I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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