The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I'm at about main and main street
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
