just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
