why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
