I accidentally burped into my bong.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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