Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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