I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
