I feel like abortions should bother me more
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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