I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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