I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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