I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
