So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
