I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
