He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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