is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
