you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
