you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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