I'd wear matching sweaters with you
420 ftw
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
