But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
