Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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