i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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