Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
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On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
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Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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