Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
