She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
