Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
