maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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