Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
