Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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