Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Someone shattered a urinal.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
