there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
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