just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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