Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Drunk is not a location!
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