also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
This couple is walking their pig around campus
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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