i just had sex bonerless
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
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I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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