if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
