Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
