girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
My feet surprised me
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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