I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
