i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize