my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Just cropdusted the office
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
