Grow some girl-balls and come out already
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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