Little spoons don't ask big questions
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
