i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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