oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
