I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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