can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
