honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
