As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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