it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
