I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
