Me too!
You can't motorboat a personality
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
